Death

I haven’t written for a while because I didn’t really know what I should say. Well, that and I’ve been really enjoying a few days of extreme laziness in my summer vacation!
But one to a bit of a serious topic. Let’s discuss death for a moment. Recently, Inga’s grandmother died at the age of 95. I had only met her a few times in the nursing home where she spent the last years of her life. As I understand from Inga, she had bad days when her mental capacity was not up to snuff. But for the most part, her health problems were in other parts of her body than her head. In the end, she passed away in her sleep after a long life of stubborn fighting. I don’t know what to say about her because I didn’t know her. I hardly know anything about her life at all except that her son is my father-in-law, Atli Viðar Johanesson. He has the same last name as his mother, unlike most Icelanders. That’s because she was furious with the father of her son and decided to Christen him with her last name instead of using his father’s name as is the tradition over here. I think that’s a respectable thing to do. In fact, that’s one of the things that I have in common with her. My son’s last name is Ericsson rater than dos Santos because I don’t want to continue my father’s family name. Well, that and he is half Icelandic and I thought it would be better for him to have an Icelandic style name-although Eric is not an Icelandic name.
But her death reminded me that I don’t have much experience with death. Many of my relatives have died but most died long ago when I was too young or too screwed up for it to have much of an effect on me. I don’t even remember who it was that I saw dead last. It was probably my uncle Ernie. He was a really fun guy. Actually, all of my grandmother’s brothers were a lot of fun. I especially liked uncle Arthur. It’s interesting how death causes one to remember things that one has not thought of for years or decades. I remember as I write the way my uncle Arthur’s cologne smelled. But maybe it hasn’t had much effect on me because it’s never been anyone with whom I had any close relationship. I have to admit that for the first time, I didn’t really know what to do around my wife. She was obviously very strongly affected by the passing of her grandmother (as I will be when I experience it) but I don’t know what I’m supposed to say or if I should say anything. So I just sat there trying to be respectful and supportive. It was yet another of those experiences you can only have when you are connected by someone through the bond of caring that accompanies a commitment of long term love.