Life
This was originally part of a different posting. I had thought of it as being two sides of the same coin: someone's death and my life. But since Paul, for whom I have tremendous respect-or something like that-commented that I should have posted twice, I thought it might be a good idea to just change it...
Today is the third most important day of my life so far. Today my Bachelor’s Degree in biology is officially over. I’ve been awaiting this day since I was about 13. You may be asking yourself why it took me so long and what was I doing in the meantime and all that. Well, there we get into some very unstable ground. It has to do with some idea of destiny and some idea of religion. Ever since I stopped wanting to die, I have taken life as it came. That is to say that I haven’t really worked very hard to push myself in any particular direction. It seems to me now, when I look back, that at every crucial point in the last 18 years something was telling me which direction I should turn. Here’s where I’m a bit unsure. Usually, I think of it as God’s guidance. Laugh if you will or mock me, but I have gone through several experiences where I am convinced there was another consciousness telling me (almost in words) what is the best option. This is a very comforting prospect to consider, let me tell you. One of the real purposes of religion is the elimination of the loneliness that can well up in one’s individual experience of the world. In the end, we are all alone and though many of our choices have effects on other people’s lives they have the greatest effect on us. So, if one can feel that there is a God out there who is willing to help if only one believes, why not believe? One of the strongest contacts I’ve felt with God occurred on Mt. Fuji. At that point in my life things were swirling around like in a hurricane. All the crap with my father had just happened; I was coming out of a bad relationship; I had no idea where I was going in life. Then I felt all of a sudden as though a presence had filled me and I felt a calm of spirit that I had not had in years. For the first time in decades I felt like everything was going to work out if only I would be patient and listen. I did so and things really have turned out well. This is the story of the tattoo on my lower back.
Sometimes it feels like fate or destiny. Sometimes-especially when there’s not a tough emotional decision to make-one path just feels right, as though the choice has already been made for me. Like when I made the switch from working at CB Fisk to working at Noack Organ. I just knew it was right to change and just because the money was so much better. I just had the feeling that I was supposed to go work for Fritz. Now I know that if I hadn’t done that I would never have gotten to where I sit today.
So, here I am. Years have gone by without my investment of very much ambition. I’ve gotten to where I’ve always wanted to be.
Today is the third most important day of my life so far. Today my Bachelor’s Degree in biology is officially over. I’ve been awaiting this day since I was about 13. You may be asking yourself why it took me so long and what was I doing in the meantime and all that. Well, there we get into some very unstable ground. It has to do with some idea of destiny and some idea of religion. Ever since I stopped wanting to die, I have taken life as it came. That is to say that I haven’t really worked very hard to push myself in any particular direction. It seems to me now, when I look back, that at every crucial point in the last 18 years something was telling me which direction I should turn. Here’s where I’m a bit unsure. Usually, I think of it as God’s guidance. Laugh if you will or mock me, but I have gone through several experiences where I am convinced there was another consciousness telling me (almost in words) what is the best option. This is a very comforting prospect to consider, let me tell you. One of the real purposes of religion is the elimination of the loneliness that can well up in one’s individual experience of the world. In the end, we are all alone and though many of our choices have effects on other people’s lives they have the greatest effect on us. So, if one can feel that there is a God out there who is willing to help if only one believes, why not believe? One of the strongest contacts I’ve felt with God occurred on Mt. Fuji. At that point in my life things were swirling around like in a hurricane. All the crap with my father had just happened; I was coming out of a bad relationship; I had no idea where I was going in life. Then I felt all of a sudden as though a presence had filled me and I felt a calm of spirit that I had not had in years. For the first time in decades I felt like everything was going to work out if only I would be patient and listen. I did so and things really have turned out well. This is the story of the tattoo on my lower back.
Sometimes it feels like fate or destiny. Sometimes-especially when there’s not a tough emotional decision to make-one path just feels right, as though the choice has already been made for me. Like when I made the switch from working at CB Fisk to working at Noack Organ. I just knew it was right to change and just because the money was so much better. I just had the feeling that I was supposed to go work for Fritz. Now I know that if I hadn’t done that I would never have gotten to where I sit today.
So, here I am. Years have gone by without my investment of very much ambition. I’ve gotten to where I’ve always wanted to be.
posted by Our Hero, at 9:41 AM
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