"In Quotes"
I love humor. It saved my life so many times. I was looking for a new quote for the bottom of my blog and found so many great ones that I couldn't just take one. Here are some of the best that I found today:
George Carlin:
When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke. (Napalm and Silly Putty)
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side? (Napalm and Silly Putty)
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone’s eyes out. (Napalm and Silly Putty)
Archie Bunker:
Listen Edith, I know you're singing, you know you're singing, but the neighbors may think I'm torturing you.
I got nothin' against mankind. It's people I can't stand.
Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television.
A four-letter Italian word for good-bye...BANG
Drew Carey:
If frogs could fly... well we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat? (Drew Carey Show)
Welcome to 'Who's Line Is It Anyway' the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points are just like Canada.
...That's right the points are just like a hat in an orgy.
...The points don't matter just like Jerry Springer's final thought.
...That's right the points are just like the police department in Columbia.
...That's right the points are just like deoderant to a cab driver.
...That's right the points are just like the salad bar at a strip club.
...That's right the points are just like the plot in a lesbian prison movie.
...That's right the points are just like street signs to a cab driver.
...That's right the points are just like the plot in 'Mission Impossible 2'.
...That's right the points are just like when I say 'I Love You' when I'm drunk.
...That's right the points are just like the credits in a porno movie.
(Whose line is it anyway?)
Victor Borge:
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible...and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.
George Carlin:
When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke. (Napalm and Silly Putty)
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side? (Napalm and Silly Putty)
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone’s eyes out. (Napalm and Silly Putty)
Archie Bunker:
Listen Edith, I know you're singing, you know you're singing, but the neighbors may think I'm torturing you.
I got nothin' against mankind. It's people I can't stand.
Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television.
A four-letter Italian word for good-bye...BANG
Drew Carey:
If frogs could fly... well we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat? (Drew Carey Show)
Welcome to 'Who's Line Is It Anyway' the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points are just like Canada.
...That's right the points are just like a hat in an orgy.
...The points don't matter just like Jerry Springer's final thought.
...That's right the points are just like the police department in Columbia.
...That's right the points are just like deoderant to a cab driver.
...That's right the points are just like the salad bar at a strip club.
...That's right the points are just like the plot in a lesbian prison movie.
...That's right the points are just like street signs to a cab driver.
...That's right the points are just like the plot in 'Mission Impossible 2'.
...That's right the points are just like when I say 'I Love You' when I'm drunk.
...That's right the points are just like the credits in a porno movie.
(Whose line is it anyway?)
Victor Borge:
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible...and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.
posted by Our Hero, at 9:06 AM
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