Icyland
Iceland lived up to its name last night and this morning. Everything was slick with a glass-smooth layer of ice. It was great fun to watch the bus that was to drive me to Reykjavík (at the increased price of 900 krónur ($12.73)-an increase of 100 krónur over last week) slide across the street and onto the sidewalk as the driver tried to make the turn into the bus stop. I stepped on board and trusted to God that I would make it to school. Fortunately, the rest of the country is civilized enough to have seasoned he roads with a good amount of salt and once we were outside of my town (where not a single aura-that's a tenth of a króna for you gringos-is spent on road maintenance). I'm in school now and took a small breather from classification to post a bit.
And now a post that didn't work a few weeks ago...
One of the things that has a great influence on my perception of life in Iceland is winter. I come from northern Massachusetts and grew up loving the cold and shorter days of the winter time. Now I live in a place almost as cold as where I grew up (Boston has a lower average winter temperature than Reykjavík) but there is not as much snow. Actually, if I lived in the north of Iceland, I might actually be able to experience waking up one morning and having to dig my way out of the house…but I don’t. I live in the warmer lands of the south. You might think that living in a place where snow usually either melts quickly or blows past into conveniently placed drifts in predictable areas. Unfortunately, there was a secret danger lurking in the darkness of the Icelandic winter. That deceitful beast is called sidewalk ice. You see, although the roads do eventually become clear as more and more people drive on them (very little plowing actually goes on around here) the sidewalks are left to rot. My theory is that nobody cleans the sidewalk because nobody walks anywhere. I thought Americans were strange because they don’t walk if they are going more than 50 meters ( I say meteres for two reasons: 1. because Americans know that a meter is roughly the same as a yard, and 2. because I believe that everyone should switch to the metric system of measurement). But Icelanders drive EVERYWHERE. I’ve seen people come out of a store, get into the car, drive across the street and park to go into a different store. Aaanyway, the sidewalks don’t get cleaned off when it snows. That means that the snow left over turns to ice.
A couple of weeks ago, I went over to the marine research institute and when I was walking back to my car I slipped on this sidewalk ice and landed on top of my laptop. Fortunately, I’m so thin and light that I did not crush the poor thing. A couple of days later, I was walking through campus and I nearly feel flat on my behind again. Shortly thereafter, one of my weaknesses worked in my advantage. Although I do not count myself a typical man in many respects, I am just like everyone else in at least one thing: I do turn my head when a beautiful woman goes by. I’m happily married and all that…I’m not looking for anything other than the view itself. I suppose it’s like looking at a beautiful photo or painting, only a bit more perverse. But I was paid off for this weakness in that I realized the secret to not falling and cracking my skull open. Icelanders keep this secret like American families guard the chocolate chip cookie recipe. So, for you fortunates – my readers – I will be opening your eyes to the secret to walking on sidewalk ice without falling and crushing your lap top. The trick is to walk around with your bum cheeks pinched tightly together. This restricts your movement and keeps your center of balance centered so that you find that you will not slide. So, try it next when you walk across a sheet of ice covered by a thin film of rain. And when you succeed, do not thank me. Thank the Icelandic girl with the skin tight black pants and waist-length coat. She has no idea that she has saved my wrists, hips, knees and electrical equipment a great deal of pain and bruises.
Of course another benefit of this style of getting around is that you firm up the rear and look better in a bathing suit! But it's the survival of winter that makes this technique so valuable.
And now a post that didn't work a few weeks ago...
One of the things that has a great influence on my perception of life in Iceland is winter. I come from northern Massachusetts and grew up loving the cold and shorter days of the winter time. Now I live in a place almost as cold as where I grew up (Boston has a lower average winter temperature than Reykjavík) but there is not as much snow. Actually, if I lived in the north of Iceland, I might actually be able to experience waking up one morning and having to dig my way out of the house…but I don’t. I live in the warmer lands of the south. You might think that living in a place where snow usually either melts quickly or blows past into conveniently placed drifts in predictable areas. Unfortunately, there was a secret danger lurking in the darkness of the Icelandic winter. That deceitful beast is called sidewalk ice. You see, although the roads do eventually become clear as more and more people drive on them (very little plowing actually goes on around here) the sidewalks are left to rot. My theory is that nobody cleans the sidewalk because nobody walks anywhere. I thought Americans were strange because they don’t walk if they are going more than 50 meters ( I say meteres for two reasons: 1. because Americans know that a meter is roughly the same as a yard, and 2. because I believe that everyone should switch to the metric system of measurement). But Icelanders drive EVERYWHERE. I’ve seen people come out of a store, get into the car, drive across the street and park to go into a different store. Aaanyway, the sidewalks don’t get cleaned off when it snows. That means that the snow left over turns to ice.
A couple of weeks ago, I went over to the marine research institute and when I was walking back to my car I slipped on this sidewalk ice and landed on top of my laptop. Fortunately, I’m so thin and light that I did not crush the poor thing. A couple of days later, I was walking through campus and I nearly feel flat on my behind again. Shortly thereafter, one of my weaknesses worked in my advantage. Although I do not count myself a typical man in many respects, I am just like everyone else in at least one thing: I do turn my head when a beautiful woman goes by. I’m happily married and all that…I’m not looking for anything other than the view itself. I suppose it’s like looking at a beautiful photo or painting, only a bit more perverse. But I was paid off for this weakness in that I realized the secret to not falling and cracking my skull open. Icelanders keep this secret like American families guard the chocolate chip cookie recipe. So, for you fortunates – my readers – I will be opening your eyes to the secret to walking on sidewalk ice without falling and crushing your lap top. The trick is to walk around with your bum cheeks pinched tightly together. This restricts your movement and keeps your center of balance centered so that you find that you will not slide. So, try it next when you walk across a sheet of ice covered by a thin film of rain. And when you succeed, do not thank me. Thank the Icelandic girl with the skin tight black pants and waist-length coat. She has no idea that she has saved my wrists, hips, knees and electrical equipment a great deal of pain and bruises.
Of course another benefit of this style of getting around is that you firm up the rear and look better in a bathing suit! But it's the survival of winter that makes this technique so valuable.
posted by Our Hero, at 11:34 AM
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